The Grumpy Old Git 039;s Guide to Life

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We all know one and most of us live with one too in varying degrees - whether it's a  husband, father, brother, grandfather or even son! The Grumpy Old Git's Guide is ideal for even the grumpiest, most curmudgeonly who think they've the right to grizzle about everyone and everything! Surely life in the 21st century isn't that bad. Of course, some old blokes don't admit they're wrong or even bad tempered - it's just everybody else that is! From Bob Geldof to Winston Churchill, Jeremy Clarkson to Victor Meldrew, the world has always produced its share of grumpy, moody, pessimistic and world-weary types. We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

My Life Story Memories of a Lifetime

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This is a wonderful keepsake for yourself and for those who come after you - a 100 year diary for you to record the events of a lifetime. In these digital days, it's nice to have some "physical" record of moments and incidents that shaped the way you are. Totalling 1080 pages, this is a record of yourself, about yourself which will help you remember the special moments you never want to forget - the people you've loved; the friends you've made; the places you've visited; the places that have become home. Record your achievements ... Make a note of favourite films/books/music/people ... Write down your ambitions ... Make a "Things To Do Before I Die" list. The book includes a map of the world, and one of your body, to be filled in as you choose. Every year you can write about what's important in your life and add photos and memorabilia. If you're too young to fill it in right now, someone else can start a record for you; things like your first steps, first words, first day at school. My Life Story is much more than a baby record book, diary, or even scrapbook. It's a an autobiography of your life and those in it. Treasure it always! Makes a wonderful gift for new parents, right up to grandparents who want to record their life for their grandchildren

Conspiracy Theories

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If you know someone who questions everything and likes the “alternative” version of some of the planet’s most incredible events, then this collection of “Tall Tales” is perfect. Did Michael Jackson fake his own death in a bid to escape financial ruin? Is swine flu a dastardly plot by global pharmaceutical companies or a scare campaign created by the pork industry’s competitors? Are the British Royal Family really reptilian shape-shifting aliens? You’ll discover startling evidence on these topics and many more in this compelling compendium of the world’s scariest and wackiest conspiracy theories. This guide leaves no stone unturned as it delves into such conundrums as the mysterious circumstances of Alexander Litvinenko’s death, the alleged withheld evidence pertaining to the 7 July bombings and whether global warming is a hoax. Whether you’re a sceptic or a self-confessed conspiracy junkie, you’ll find a cover-up for every occasion. And remember, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you…

How to Poo at Work

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Let’s face it, using public loos can be a tad fraught sometimes, although you can claim anonymity. Even more fraught are visits to the lav at work. So are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin! How to Poo at Work is a hilarious book that could save your career and get you the keys to the executive washroom! It is the ultimate guide to going to the toilet at work, and is filled with practical advice for dealing with all sorts of poop-related problems. Includes “What to do if” scenarios such as: You are 'ill' A colleague follows you into the bathroom the flush doesn't work no paper no seat  your colleagues arrive your phone rings And, many more real-life situations that are tough to cope with. All are complemented by useful diagrams. You may think “Why” this guide? Well, work can be stressful enough so you don’t need any added traumas when trying to relieve yourself do you!

300 Beers To Try Before You Die

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The 300 Beers To Try Before You Die guide, written by Roger Protz, a world leading beer writer, is a brilliant collection of the various ales, lagers, bitters, stouts and any other type of beer you can think of that you really shouldn't miss out on in your lifetime! Ranging from real hop-brewed British ale to Czechoslovakian lagers to Belgian Fruit Beers, this really is the book for the man yearning for the status of the beer aficionado: It even comes with a personal comment section so you can evaluate and remember the different types that you have tried! The perfect gift for the man who likes the appreciates a fine drink!

Trivia For The Toilet

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Consider a minute in the bathroom a minute wasted? Wish you could utilise that time? The Trivia For The Toilet book is the perfect remedy to this common problem. With 96 illustrated, splashproof pages full of over 400 things you never knew, you'll leave the toilet feeling fulfilled and satisfied with your new selection of knowledge. Did you know that the expression "News" came from an abbreviation of "North, East, West, South"? Discover this, and hundreds of other interesting facts with Trivia For The Toilet.

Think You Know It All

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To all those adults who retrospectively view that childhood and teenage competitive drive as something for the younger and less secure, casting those memories of crying for being caught cheating in that test aside, we present "Think You Know It All? The activity book for Grown-Ups". Watch those principles take a running leap out the window as your allegedly responsible, adult peers grapple with eachothers answer sheets and discreetly click away at their smartphones in the pursuit of quiz glory! Think you can name all the American states? List the James Bond films in order? Put yourself to the test, this devilishly addictive quiz book will never get old!

The Camper Van Cookbook

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The Camper Van Cookbook is the highly original and entertaining cookbook which not only lends an insight into the free roaming world of camper vans but delivers delicious, easily prepared on-the-go recipes. The cookbook slogan, "Life on 4 Wheels, Cooking on 2 Rings" resembles the carefree, spontaneous attitude the lifestyle is based upon, and this is replicated in the recipes for the dishes which are simply and efficiently explained. For anyone whose ever dreamt of taking that Winnebago and seeing where it takes you, this is the perfect present.

Caravan Cookbook

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The Caravan Cookbook is a brilliant collection from the Rivron family, a group of extremely experienced caravanners who have picked up a wide selection of simple, delicious recipes, perfectly engineered for the confined kitchens of a caravan, the knowledge from which is presented to you in this one, simple cookbook. Learn how to prepare uncomplicated and healthy picnics, snacks, main dishes and rainy day baking: The Caravan Cookbook is the perfect preparation for camping and caravanning, showing that it is possible to enjoy fantastic cuisine whilst travelling around.

Pets With Tourettes

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"Pets With Tourettes" is a hilarious novelty book that shows the foul mouthed side to those cute little critters that seem so innocent. A perfect gift for the animal lover, this combines cute and comical photos of animals with amusing captions of them "venting their distress" at whatevers coming their way! Gasp and then laugh at the cursing coming out of their mouth: this is a brilliant smaller gift idea for any occasion.

F*** My Life

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Feel exasperated after one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong? The car not started, it started it raining on the way to the bus, then you ripped your jacket sleeve? "F*** My Life" is a simple yet hilarious concept: in a few sentences, people describe how and why a simple incident has ruined their day, and if there was a way to make you feel better, it's to know that other people are getting it or have had it worse than you!

Top Gear Alternative Highway Code

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Top Gear has given us the world’s most popular TV show with three of the world’s most obnoxious presenters. Now their take on motoring and life in general is encapsulated in this brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code, written by the Ministry of Top Gear no less! As everyone knows, there are three ways of doing things. The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that’s usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Alternative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world’s most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that’s just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that’s snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony. With diagrams and illustrations, it also includes guidance to every day driving like How to overtake What to do and how to react when hitting wildlife Basic rules of the road  Dealing with Elderly Drivers And many more irreverent tips! Road users should not leave home without it. Makes an ideal gift for all petrol heads and  fans of Top Gear - and there are plenty of those about!

Haynes Outdoor Survival Manual

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This is the Outdoor Survival Manual from Haynes. The author, the former Royal Marine Commando Dave Pearce, has an extensive background in improvisational survival in an array of the harshest climates around the world, and has divulged in this comprehensive how-to manual how to handle outdoor situations from casual camping in the woods to perilous hikes through the jungle and staying warm in deadly minus temperatures. Unlike many other guides of a similar genre, it comes with 250 colour illustrations and step-by-step instructions on how to go through the processes to stay alive in the most extreme of circumstances, making this is the perfect gift for the intrepid explorer.

Ray Mears Essential Bushcraft

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From the renouned adventurer Ray Mears comes his Essential Bushcraft book of what-to, how-to and when-to do things whilst adventuring out in the wilderness. Ranging from how to make a fire from pretty much nothing, to a list of what wild foods are edible, this is an ideal guide to take with you when going on an expedition, or to give as a gift to that friend who dreams of exploring unknown territory.

Haynes Wallace Gromit 039;s Cracking Contraptions Manual

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Wallace & Gromit fans everywhere can breathe a huge sigh of relief: Finally they can understand fully how Gromit's breakfast porridge cannon works, and unearth previously unspoken secrets about the technical specifications of the tuned up Austin A35 van and the iconic motorbike and sidecar. Haynes have again stepped up to produce a definitive manual, this time for the much-loved cartoon characters. Picking apart The Wrong Trousers and the Knit-O-Matic could never have been possible for, but with this comprehensive guid to every Wallace & Gromit invention, the avid fan can gain closure on all those questions he never thought he would answer!

Haynes USS Enterprise Manual

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The USS Enterprise Manual from Haynes is the perfect gift to give the avid Star Trek fan. Watch them go wild as you present them with the 160 page hardback edition of the explanatory guidebook that explores the depths and intricacies of the legendary spaceship. It follows the growth of the USS Enterprise and its portrayal in various incarnations, with a comprehensive amount of background information and technological specifications for the equipment used on board through time, also featuring cutaway drawings, technical illustrations and photographs. It's enough to send your average science fiction fanatic wild!

Shit Ground No Fans

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"Shit Ground No Fans" is the brilliant collection of football chants that pays homage to the distinctive British football culture and the songs that have developed from this over the years. Many of the older ones have developed and are still sung on the terraces today. "Shit Ground No Fans" puts together a huge amount of chants from all the years of football banter and brings it together in a concise, humorous amalgamation of the witty minds of millions of football fans at once! Indulge in the nostalgia of hearing chants you might not have heard since the 80's, or remember having had it roared in your ear last week, this is the perfect gift for the committed football fan.

Lagoon Great British Trivia Quiz

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How much do you know about Blighty? With over 60 million of us crammed into a very small island, people will be amazed about what they know (and don’t know) about this fine nation. The Great British Trivia Quiz is fun and fact-filled board game, where you can test your knowledge and learn some fascinating facts at the same time. There are 1200 trivia questions covering a range of subjects relating to topics you never even dreamt of! For instance: Roughly how many Smarties are eaten EVERY MINUTE in the UK? Answer: 15,000 How many people died in the Great Fire of London (1666)?Answer:6 How many umbrellas are lost annually on the London Underground? Answer: 80,000.  So ride the wave of national pride and get playing! Makes a great party game at family get togethers and for after dinner. Also acts as a helpful guide for that weekly pub quiz - especially when it's your turn to compile the questions! What's in the Box? 1 Playing Board  6 Playing Pieces 1 Die 1,200 Questions

A Simples Life The Life and Times of Aleksandr Orlov

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Alekxandr Orlov is now a household name – with his catchphrase “Simples”! Now that lovable Meerkat from TV land has written his own autobiography, giving us an account of his journey from Africa’s Kalahari to Russia. Read about his ancestor’s journey to his own life as entrepreneur and founder of comparethemeerkat.com plus his love of grubs and cravats. Dictated to his sidekick, Sergei, this is written in his own, unique style.So settle down and enjoy!‘My name is Aleksandr Orlov. I live and make work in Moscow. I have a success business. I have a mansion decorate with many fine things. I have a naturally majestic posture. But I would have none of these things if it were not for my family. This book is dedicated to them. I also wish to inspire next generation of young businesskats. I am hope that this book will show what can come of courage, hard work and a good fur-care regime. I am also hope that with royalties I will be able to re-marble roof on Orlov family mansion’

1001 Ridiculous Ways to Die

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It was once said that there were two things in the world that couldn't be avoided - death and taxes! And whilst dying is a serious business, this is a seriously funny book listing some of the most incredulous ways some people have shuffled off this mortal coil! The woman who drank herself to death with water trying to win a games console by holding in her wee… the mechanic who blew himself up while trying to open a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer… a lottery winner killed by the gates of his new luxury home… a woman felled forever by a fatal falling lettuce… an octogenarian who met his maker while riding a shopping trolley… a German artist crushed by one of his own sculptures called ‘Woman with Four Breasts’… the convicted murderer who electrocuted himself on the toilet as he repaired a TV – all true reports from across the globe which reveal the silliest ways you can meet your maker. Death may seem like a serious business, but this is a seriously funny book. About the Author Although better known for his books on parapolitics and true crime, David Southwell has written and contributed to a number of strong selling humour books. A regular broadcaster in the UK, Europe and the US, he spent more than 15 years as a journalist and editor before turning fulltime to writing. Among his current non-book projects are a film-script about the life of US cult comedian Bill Hicks and a documentary for BBC Radio 4.